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Bold & Balanced
Bold & Balanced

Episode · 9 months ago

29 ~ Going to School 2,000 Miles from Home

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

As requested we have our first ever solo episode! Join Natalie as she shares her experiences going to college far away from home. She talks about everything from how to make friends, dealing with long distance relationships, and coping with culture shock!

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Hey Guy Sidney here, I'm so excited totell you about this episode. Sponsor Potcorn podcorn is a market placeconnecting podcasters to amazing, podcast sponsorship opportunities suchas host? Read ads like this one interview, segments, topicaldiscussions and more Nataly, and I started using podcorn when we createdour podcast and fed such great success and are so happy with it with PodcornThereis, no middle man, podcasters of all sizes can browse and chooseopportunities right on the platforms at their own rates and collaborate withbrands directly, there's nothing exclusive about it. You never give upany of your rights to podcast and Podcorn is here to support you at everystep and insure you protected and compensated for the work that you dofor their brands. The market place mission is to give podcasterstransparency, creative freedom, full control of how and when we monetize andyou can click the link in the show notes to sign up for podcorn and startbrowsing sponsorship opportunities. That's podcorncom, pod, corncom, hello, happy, Tuesday, welcome back toBoldem, balanced, it's Natalie and actually just Natali. Today we decidedto switch things up. We remember that poll. We did a while back on ourinstagram asking if you guys were interested in hearing solo episodes,and many of you were so we figure. This would be a good time to do one, sincewe are busy girls right now, so hey, it's Notali and I'm excited to Chotwith y'all today, but first I'm going to kick things off with my three twoone, three to attof your new here at threetwo one stands for three really good things that happened this week to notso good things and one thing were manifesting for the next week. My firstthree is something that I've been talking about. The last I don't know afew weeks. I think. Since new years I was saying I wanted to read more booksand or just read more in general and I finally finished paper towns, my firstbook of the year. I know it took a bit, but I'm still really proud of myself.I've been super busy, so it's been hard to have time to read and whenever Ihave a chance to I've been doing it and I'm really proud of myself. I you knowhive been reading instead of watching tick talk at night and stuff like that,and I want to read so I'. I want to start a new book, butI feel like I should probably wait to until my schedule lessons a little bitjust because I'm already super stressed right now with everything going onwhich I'll get into with my tos, and so I just don't really have that much timeand I was noticing myself wanting to read instead of doing other productivethings, so I told my roommate not let me start a new book Ti March, we'll seeif that happens, though, but for now that's where I'm at my next three isthe super bowl. It was Super Fun. I had a couple of friends over our friends,Brookan Amanda and my roommate was here, and it was just a good time. We watchedthe game sort of you know. We ordered wings had some beers and stuff just anexcuse to have a good time and watch the Super Bowl. You know I'm somewhatinterested in football like I've talked about. I've done fantasy football, thelast few years, which elthe last couple years. I guess which has beeninteresting. I actually had Tom Brady on my fantasy football league. I knoweveryone probably hates me for that, and I didn't end up doing that wellthis year, which is kind of ironic now that he won the super bowl again andpeople doubted me for picking him, but my roommate said he was a go tostandard and she was right but yeah. It was just a good time and you know I atelots of junk food which I don't do a lot of lately. So it was. It was niceto do that. I guess, although my stomach hurt quite a bit the nextmorning, but it was worth it, I think, and then the last three is kind of fun.I went on a hinge date on what was it Sunday, too, yeah right before theSuper Bowl. So it was a hinge day because not only did I meet the guyfrom hinge, but the date itself was on hinge on the Henjob. Apparently, youcan go on Daves on the hen. Job like afacetime. The Guy was, you know on the date with didn't, have an iphone soclassic like none of the guys I ever date have iphones because they're alllike tech people but yeah, he didn't have an iphone, and so she was like. We can video chat on theHENGJAP and I was like okay. I guess we can try that and you know just becausewe're both trying to be pretty covid safe. So we figured why not just do alittle video day and yeah well. Well, it was, it was cool. Imean it was just. It was my first time ever having a first date on I jus I'll,just call it facetime on facetime. I used to face time date a lot. Obviouslywhen I was long distance and stuff and...

...a little bit with covid with some otherguys, but I've Yeah I've never done a first dateon on video, so it was interesting, but it was kind of cool and it worked outbecause I never snapchott at this guy. First, like I've, said in the past. Ilike to snap chot before we go on a day, just to make sure they're, notcatfishing, but since we did this, I guess I didn't really have to do that.This was kind of my test to see if he was a catfish and he wasn't and he wassuper cool and we've been. You know, texting pretty much every day since andI think we're going to have another facetime henge video chot date thisweekend. If I can find time so yeah, that's that's the plan anyway. That'sjust kind of a silly thing. I would recommend it to you guys if you want totry video chatting on the Heng Ap, it could work. Also, if, like you, don'twant to give them your number. Yet, if you just want to quick test, if they'relike legit or not, you could just call him up on the HINJOP and it'll be fun and it was cool to becauseit was really nice out that day and he has a dog. And you know I have myroommate's dog who I've been helping with, and so we decided to both go walk ourrespective dogs. While on the video chat we ended up, losing signal andthen doing a phone call and then switching back, but long story short isa good time and I just thought I'd recommend that to you guys, so my firsttwo is kind of a st it's kind of intense I so my roommate, as I think I'vementioned she's on cruches right now, and so we were at her friend'sapartment, the other night and or this last weekend. Actually on FridaySatuday, I don't know so. Her friend lives in an apartment building that haslike a huge scary, steep hill driveway, to get up to get to the apartment. Soobviously my roommate shouldn't really be going up or down this huge, steephill nowadays because she's on crutches, so we dropped her off on top when wewere first getting there and so some background. It was snowing for a whilethat day and then we were leaving at around to am where it had stoppedsnowing for a while. But it was cold and my roommate's friend and I weregoing out to get the car to get her and the driveway we noticed was likecovered an ice super slippery. I was wearing uggs, which are not the bestslip resistant in general, but either way we were sliding around and wenoticed like some black ice but long story short. When the car went up thehill to go, get my roommate it didn't. It could not go up the hill that thehill or the steep driveway, I guess, was covered in black ice and the carslid down spun around and crashed into another car that was parked illegallyin front of a fire hydrant, so yeah that was horrifying. You know this isthe second car accident I've been in in the last four months. Remember. Mybirthday was also a scary time, so it's just like a little a littletraumatizing, a little scary and both of these occurred at night. So, justlike night driving scary, I mean both times. I, like wasn't in control of thesituation, so I can't be like too scared and I've driven at night sinceand it's been fine, it's just it's just scary, so yeah, it's this whole messnow yeah. So anyway, I just being I've, never been in a car like that. That'slike spun around and lost control before so does pretty scary. So that'sjust like a little warning to you all. I guess. Hopefully you wouldn't putyourself in this situation, but don't put yourself in the situation. We weregoing up a steep driveway or hill well, when there might be ice on it,because that was you know. I guess maybe we shouldn't have done that, butalso we didn't want my roommate to have to come down in her crouches, which sheeventually ended up having to do so yeah. It ended up having to be that wayanyway, but it was just scary. So just look out for black ice and stuff likeit's just not worth it's just not worth it. So it's scary, yeah, that's my first two and then mysecond too, is just that. Like ie mentioned, I'm a little stressed rightnow. I just have so much going on I've been saying all along. That Februarywill be a stressful month and that's only been proving to be true so far,which you know is fine. I knew that would happen. I like, for example, islast week I got sent these dance videos that I have to learn and film prettyquickly pretty quick turnaround or one of the feeter summer theater auditionconferences. I got in the a ones if you're familiar, which you know it'ssuper exciting that I get to do this, but I just like don't have time to onelearn these dances, because I'm learning a just a normal dance and thena tap dance because I can top so I feared. Why not do the optional tapvideo? Well, why not? I guess would be because I don't have time to learn andfilm both, but I feel like I should so...

I'm going to try to. So that's that'spretty much. What's going on with that, I'm just stressed because like for that,for example, I don't really have time to learn it and then, in terms offilming it I have to figure out if I can rent out a studio to film it inlike one on campus, I tried emailing the person that I thought would be bestto contact about renting the space, but I haven't heard that yet so we'll seeI'm not not really sure, but hopefully it'Llal work out in the end. I'm sureit will it's just going to be. You know a crunch Gogo go time right now, sothat's that's just what it is, and that was that's. My second to my one thisweek is for I'm manifesting that CRUI ships will be good to go pretty shortlyafter I graduate and I will get to work on one as a performer. I think thatwould be a super cool fun opportunity. You got to travel, I mean for free notonly for free but you're getting paid, and you don't have to pay for your roomand board. Obviously, that's included and you're also making money. So it'sjust really an ideal job post college, especially you know, you're, not tieddown to living anywhere yet and you are making money, you don't have anyexpenses really, which is Super Nice, so that'd be great. If I could just bemaking money, I could pay off some student loans, which is going to becoming up soon. It's Lild to think that as I'm recording this I'm graduatingand Sydney two in less than three months. That's wild! It's Februaryg nowand we're graduating the beginning of May so that's so soon, and it's justcrazy because we've been thinking about this day forever. Obviously I'm notgoing to do bill's facebook feed this week. It just doesn't feel right to doit without sid, so we're just going to skip that and I'll also skipbachelorecap. I did watch the weeks before episode, but I haven't watchedthis week's yet and I also just feel like it'll, be silly to do by myself,so we're's going to skip those things and go right into the meat of thisepisode. Hey Guys Sidney here, have you heard a bear ritual? It's a new companybased out of Florida and their motto is Selfcare, isn't selfish, which we knowreally aligned with our views and what you are all striving to do more ofbecome more bold and balanced. They are sustainable, cute and practical, andour listeners can get fifteen percent off bear ritualcom. If you use the code,bold fifteen, let's bold one, five at Bare R, it! U Alcom, I'm rearly excitedto try the soap. I ordered it's called Cleopatra's donkey milk soap, it's onone thouand, nine hundred and ninety five and safe nontoxic and great forthe environment, because it's sustainable so definitely check out,bear ritual and use the code. Bold fifteen for fifteen percent off itcheckout all this impo is in our show, notes, check hem out now. I'm superexcited about this topic. It's something I've been wanting to talkabout for a while and something that I feel like a lot of you will be able torelate to so, and hopefully it can help some of you I'll just say the topic isgoing to be talking about going to school very far away from home. I go tocollege two thosand miles away from my home in New Jersey and you know that'sobviously a significant thing. It has impacted my life the last four yearsand will continue to impact me so yeah. I just want to talk about thedecision going into that how it's been and how I think it will affect me post,Grad so well start off with chronological order. We will start withme deciding to go to Utah and I feel like this. This episode will hopefullybe helpful for either if you know, you're in high school right now andyou're trying to decide where to go to school if you're deciding. If you wantto you, know, risk going super far from home or not or if you want to stay,maybe more local like that might be your thing. That was my sisters thingand you know that's just how it is for some people or it could help you ifyou're in college right now- and you just can relate to what I'm saying ifyou're far away from home or even if you're, not far away from home andyou're curious to hear what that perspective is like and then also ifyou're, Post Grad and you went to college far away from home or youdidn't vice versa. Anyway, I think it'll be helpful and or if you're, amom of someone who goes to SCO far away like my mom hi mom, then this will be helpful. Let's getinto it so deciding to go here I mean the Musical Theater College. Auditionprocess is a whole ordeal in itself and we've touched on it a little bit inprevious episodes. Maybe we could do a whole episode talking about it, butit's a beast of its own, and so it's really competitive to get into schools.So once you get into, however many you get into, it's already narrowed downyour decision a little bit because it's so competitive, so I didn't get intothat many BFA programs which I'm you know. I feel okay, admittingit's difficult and I'm proud of myself for getting into any so yeah, so Utahwas definitely the furthest place I got...

...in. I was mainly deciding between Utahand Mulenberg, and this episode does not mean to hate on MealenbergMillinberg's great, and they gave me like almost a full ride scholarship, soit was kind of hard to turn down honestly. The reason thei did that andUtah didn't was because I didn't apply to Utah academically until I got intothe BFA program which at the time I thought I was saving money on like theforty five dollar application fee. I didn't want to bother applying here. IfI wasn't going to get into the BFA program, but alas, it would have savedme lots of money to pay the forty fivelr application V and apply beforeall the scholarships were taken. But you know: That's: Okay, a cool thing that Utahhas that made it a comparable choice to Mulenberg was that after your firstyear, you can get instate tuition. If you become a resident of Utah and it'snot super hard to become a resident, you just can't leave the state much foryour first year. I think it's like maybe thirty days total or somethingand people are able to like fudge the thirty days a little bit by. I don'teven know, but the way I was able to do it was I took summer classes which justmade it easier for me and yeah. So I knew that was an option to make itfinancially, not as scary as just going to a school without much scholarship. Idid get a little bit to Utah, but not much compared to Mulinberg, but thenthe tuition of Utah was going to be significantly less with the instatetuition. So that's that that's the financial side of tuition. Obviouslythere are also other costs to take into account such as flying back and forth,which I will get into a little bit more later. When I talk about what myexperience going here has been like, but that as another cost to take intoaccount as well as a few other things, the next thing I was thinking about was well honestly. As I've mentioned I hadalong well, it wasn't long distance. At the time I had a boyfriend in highschool senior year, but we had only been dating. I think, like five or sixmonths when I was leaving for school, and so I had tried to make the decisionto break up well, I had tried to not let him impact my decision of where Idecided to go to school and if I recall he was good about that too. He didn'twant to impact that decision. Obviously he would have been happy if I went toMulenberg because Muenberg was, I don't know, maybe a Max an hour drive awayfrom my town super close versus e. You know four five hour flight, but hewasn't going to stop me from going to Utah so that that was important and Ididn't want him to stop me from going to Utah, especially because you knowwe'd only been dating five or six months and even if not, I don't think arelationship should impact your decision of where you go to school,which will affect the rest of your life. So that's my thoughts on that. Obviouslyit's still it's still hard and it was a hard decision to me. I did love him andthat made that hard and it's going to be a hard choice. So I'm not saying it's easy to decide foryourself, but I'm saying that's what I did and I'm really happy. I did that.The main thing that led me to going to Utah was, I was just excited about it.I was excited n when I thought about theidea of going there. I mean Mulenburg sure it was exciting. It's stillcollege and I would still be studying theater, but first of all, Mulonberg isa BA, not a BFA Aba's Bachelor of Arts. BFA is bachelor. Fine Arts- and basically I guess, if I describe itto someone who doesn't know the main difference- would have been with Utah with the BFA. It's much moreintense conservatory style classes, much more performance based, whereasMilenberg it would have been a little bit less intense performing classes,and I probably would have had time to do a double major. If I wanted to,which is something I was considering. I was considering double majoring inEnglish and being like a high school English teacher, who also teachestheater like I could have probably happily lived that life and I stillmight happily love that life, but wasn't as exciting. Also going to Utahin general was exciting to me. Obviously, I mean two thousand milesaway from home. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO UTAH. I never really been to the west ofAmerica other than I went to La once when I was like in seventh grade orsomething other than that I haven't really been out west or I hadn't, and Iwas like why not explore, and so then I was lucky enough to get to visit Utah.Once I got in I booked a flight super silly, I flew because it was so lastminute the flights I flew from New Jersey to Texas to Utah and then on theway back, I flew from Utah to California to New Jersey, which is justsilly if you're looking at a map but or if you know yeah so anyway, I visitedand that trip was really like the...

...deciding factor I mean as soon as I waslanding and I saw the mountains here. I was like okay, I like I have to comehere. This is beautiful. This is unreal, a remember in my Uber on my way home aron my way to my hotel from the airport. I was like this looks like a presetApple Wallpaper, like this looks fake, so yeah that it looked Mike to me, andso I was I decided, let in decide then, but I sort of decided. Then, when Ireally decided was when I shadowed a musical theater student matthew shotout. I followed him and you know. Basically, they set you up with astudent and have you follow them to other classes, observe their classes,which is a really nice opportunity. I mean. Obviously they want you to come,so they want you to get to see the school so yeah. I got to do that and itwas really it was really nice and I just fell in love with the school andfell in love with the program. It just seemed like pretty much everything Iwanted out of my BFA and out of my college experience. So why not go there,so I did- and I also I guess I have to give a shot out to Kelly who I talkabout now, one of my best friends here I met her then as well. She was yearabove me in school at the time, so that was her freshman ear and she kind oftook me under her wing and showed me everything I mean outside of class toshe showed me what the social life was like there and just took me to go, seea play that was being put on on campus and all this cool stuff. So shout outKelly you're, also a part of whyt. I decided to come here and Kelly's alsofrom the East Coast, so I was reassuring to get to talk to someonewho was from the East Coast as well yeah, so that was that was super cool,and so, after my visit I decided I had to come. I came home and I just I don'teven know how to describe this feeling, but it's just like my heart was fulland excited about Utah, so my mom could tell also I mean she didn't want me togo far away, but she could tell that I wanted that and I wanted that fullcollege experience of Utah, where I got to be on this big green campus. Also,that has a great football team and sorority Greek life just like the wholenine yards of everything you would want from college, in addition to a greatmusical theater program, also in a cool new place. So that's that I decided togo to Utah, okay, fast forwid. Now, I'm here I've been here three and a halfyears. I guess I don't even know almost Gor at this point. I've been here along time now, so I'm going to talk about some of the struggles and some ofthe good things that come out of going to school, far away from home. One ofthe first, I guess struggles is something I've been dealing withrecently and has come up every now and again, the last few years, which hasbeen I'm super close to my mom, and it's sometimes hard to be so far awayfrom her and the rest of my family as well. Just like times like right nowand this last weekend, where I'm going through really difficult times it wouldjust like and she feel so bad. You know I facetime her and I'm like crying toher on facetime and it's so hard and she feels awful for not being here, andI feel sad that I'm not there with her vice versa. I think it would just benice to be able to. You know, do a quick, little drive home that would benice or her quick little drive to me. When I said quick, I mean you knowanywhere within, like I don't even know, eight hours would benice, like I yeah I'. Instead, I would take threedays for me to do a quirk, little drive home, so it's just really hard,sometimes, and but I guess to contrast that something that is good, that comesfrom that is I've become Super Independent. I feel like. I just havegrown up much faster than SAV, for example. My sister I mean you knowwe're also different people, but my sister went to school like a three anda half hour drive from home, which you know, I think, was the right choice forher she's. You know much more introveted and just a different personthan me, and I think that was the right call for her. But you know I've justnoticed myself grow up faster than her to be frank and she's two years olderthan me. So it's definitely interesting to see that not to say that she's notmature grown up. I just see that, and I see that with you know some of myfriends from home to and just in general I just I see it with everyone.I compare it to I mean not everyone, but most people. I noticed that and Ithink wel it's a hard thing. I do think it could be a good thing. HavingIndependence is nice and I've learned to really appreciate that you know likewhen I came home for a few months at the beginning of COVID. It was kind ofweird to have less independence than I've had the last three years, like I'mnot used to living under my parents roof now, and not that I'm like a bigrebel, and I want to go. Do all these silly things, but I just it's nice tonot have to like say: okay, I'm going...

...out to my friends now and if I'm theretill two am they won't be like? Oh my gosh, you were out so lae. You know,that's just like how I live my life and not that they would care. But you knowyou have to check in when you're home, and I would borrow my mom's car likeobviously have to coordinate and it's a whole thing, but also you know it'snice to be home sometimes and to not have to have that grown up mentalityand have her do my laundry sometimes and have her by groceries. You know, byher I mean my mom, but whoever in the House, my dad too not have to cook. Youknow my parents are both good cooks and it's nice when I come home to havetheir homemade meals. I do like my cooking and I think I'm okay and I makewhat I like, and I know how to make it and everything I just yeah it is. It isnice to have a break sometimes, but I guess to this point: It is nice thatI've become so independent and I know how to make my meals and I know how togrocery shop and all these you know silly things that you don't reallythink about, and this last year I've also been learning about dealing withcars. I just got my car this last year and that's a lot of independence andstress honestly being far away from like my dad and everyone. I just don'tknow how to deal with cars and stuff like I've. I've had this like warningon my dashboard, saying that my tire pressure might be a little low and Ihad to my friend came over and helped me figure out how to check in andeverything and again it's these things that are like not that big of a deallong term, but it's the little skills that you acquirethet add up and make you this independent whole full person, and Ithink that's it's really valuable and it's really cool and I don't know Icould list like just a millian examples of little things that I've learned todo that. I guess you you could learn to do if you're still going to schoolclose to home, but I feel like it's just even more extreme n being reallyfar away from home. The next thing I want to talk about is,if you know something were to happen at home. That was really sad or impactfule,and I wouldn't be able to be there for it. I don't want to say this to Jinksit, but you know I have grandparents and if something were to happen to them oranyone, I love and care about, and I wasn't able to be there for that. Thatwould be so sad. My sister actually did a semester in La of school inCalifornia, so she was away for a second, and I do think that made hermore independent honestly. But anyway, during that semester my grandfatherpassed away and she wasn't able to come to the funeral. We were in Florida forthe funeral, that's where he lived and I was a senior in high school and yeah.I just I still have three other grandparents and I would just neverwant thave to happen, and you know I've made it. This far knock on wood. Oh myGosh! This is like scary to talk about, but I don't know anyway. I just wouldhate for something to happen and I wouldn't be able to get home in time.You know anything just anything like even sometimes when I see my mom isgoing through a hard time. I wish I could be there for that, and I wish Icould be there for her and you know even just like during covid my mom andI like were such like buddies like we would walk together and do all thesethings together and just seeing her do the same things like without me. It'shard sometimes, and it's sad and you know, and my sister said, or just likewhen any when anything comes up, I just wish I could be there sometimes now.Let's talk about how often I do end up flying that. Well, when I first startedmy freshman year or sophomore year, whatever I used to fly back about everylike two to three months or so, it really wasn't that bad in terms of howlong I would go without being home or seeing. My family will also keep inmind that my freshman year and beginning of my sophomarine er, I washaving a long distance boyfriend. I guess I left that story off saying thatas planning to break up with him when I decided to go to Utah Right beforeschool- and I did do that- I did break up with him right before school. Butafter I don't even know a few weeks to a month into school, we ended upgetting back together and trying long distance and wee actually open for thefirst at least my first semester. I think think we maybe stopped being open afterthat, so part of it was part of y came home, as often as I could was to beable to see him also just because you know ' it's hard to do long distanceand you know being with each other, is important to me. Quality time is one ofmy tap love languages as well as physical touch. So it was important tobe able to see him and also to see my family. So I would go home every chance.I could. We would have fal break in October for a week, so I'd go home forthat, and then I'd go home the next month in December for the holidays. Iwouldn't go home for Thanksgiving because only had a couple days off. Weonly had Thursday and Friday off, which...

...really it never made sense any year tofly home, because you know it takes almost a day to fly so then it wouldreally only be like two days there. I just doesn't make sense and the flightsare super expensive and I knew I'd be home in a couple weeks anyway, forwinter break, so didn't make sense. So then I would get back to Uton Januaryand then we'd have springbreak in March. I'd go back home for that and then we'dbe done in May, and I'd maybe go home for that to so that really is likeevery two months or so, which was not bad a little expensive. You come torealize, though, where to find sheep flights and how to go about that whentbook etc. I became pretty good at that, and I mean it was. It was stillexpensive and it was, you know, still a cost. I would not have or have had if Iwent to school closer to home, but I think I think it was worth it and youknow I did. I did get the instate tuition, so al worked out and I do havea job or two or three here. So I I'm okay, it's okay! Financially, it's morejust like more of the things I'm talking about with this episode arelike mental health and just like experience of life, if that makes sense,overall experience and outlook on life, how this is impacted that for me, butyeah anyway, so I did fly back every few months, which was nice. So I said,did a that's because well, first of all, when when my boyfriend and I broke upthe second time, which happened and of first semester sophomore year, I wantedto go home after that to be with my mom, obviously to help me through that, butlike other than that one home kind of reminded me of him fora while, and that was hard for me. So that was hard. So that made me not wantto go home and to I wanted to go other places I ever since moving here to Utah ihaveexperienced so many new places, and so many new things- and I did my studyabroad that next summer- and that made me experience all these other thingsand places so y. Why Stop I got? You know hooked on traveling basically, andso I didn't want to just go home every break, so I think I was planning to goto La or Mexico. I don't even know I was planning all these things.Obviously covid messed things up for that, but although I did, I did go toVegas the beginning of spring break last year, which was fun yeah. So Ijust I kind of lost as much of my desire to go home. Then I ended upbeing home for a few months because of covid anyway so made up for lost time. But and thensince covid I went from end of June till beginning of December, or I guessend of November without being home, which I think is like five months,which is the longest I'd ever been without being home or seeing my mom oranyone. My Mom juest come here a couple times our has come here a couple times.She normally tries to come at least once a year this year, my mom and dadand sister I think, are coming for graduation questionmark, as I'vementioned, we're not really sure if graduations happening in person, buteither way they're going to come either that week or the week before and see myshow, which will be nice. My sister has also come here before, but I thinkthey'll all of it and they'll like my apartment and everything and it's it isnice like to have people from home, whether it's your family or yourfriends come visit. You and kind of you got to shove off your nice littleindependent life. You set up for yourself out wherever you are, it'sjust it's just a nice feeling to like shew off. Like look at me, I'm a fullgrown person. I have my life together a little bit and I want you to be able toappreciate it and enjoy it. I really look forward to in life when I'm ableto help others or just like, have my success. Help others like I just would love to have a lot ofmoney. So I'm able to have like a nice home and a nice place for my mom tocome visit and like get her a nice kitchen. I know she always wanted anice kitchen and I just like always dreamed about doing that for her, and Iwould just love to be able to help my family and my friends I just want. Ijust want to be a good host and I just want them to ju, see Hi'm doing welland not worry about me. You know they can worry about me a little bitespecially like when times are hard and I'm expressing that, but in general Iwant them to know I'm good and I'm happy here and I'm doing well. I talkedabout this a little bit, but I have got to experience this other side of thecountry which has been awesome. I will also say when I first moved here, andthis continues to happen. There is some culture shock that happens and that'snormal and you can embrace the thocghts that you got to experience this newculture and it makes you more educated and feel like a grown person, somethingthat I thought a lot about when...

...deciding to come here. Ansonce beinghere is that have got to experience all these different ways of life and allthese different types of people, which is not only coolh as a person but as anactress or an actor. It's super cool to. I don't know like now. If I had to playsomeone who was from Utah or from just anywhere out west from Idaho or Arizonaor whatever, I just would have a better idea of where that person's coming fromthe and what makes them them and that culture. If I had to play a Mormon, Iwould understand that better than I definitely would have before. I movedhere just any of those things I had to play like a farmer. Just like anything,I mean not to say that I know what it's like to be a farmer, but I definitelyknow better than I did when I was home in New Jersey before college, and Ithink that's also up to you, because you could you could go to school, faraway from home two thousand miles, but you could also just stay in the cityyou're in and you will still have a lot of colder shock in that city andexperience a lot of new things in that city, but it ultimately it's been up tome to try to travel while I'm out here to try to go to all of the surroundingstate which I've done a pretty good job of I'm Goinna pull up a map right now,because I a my geography of out here, is still not perfect. I think I thinkit's pretty good, but you know I have been to Idaho. Obviously, I've been toArizona I've been to Colorado. I yes been to wyoming sort of Ben to Nevada,so those are like all the surrounding states. I would like to try to go toOregon, well see if that's going to happen, and I also want to go to thefour corners and I want to go to California again, while I'm out herethat's not necessarily like super close, but definitely closer than from NewJersey, yeah. It's been up to me to try to do these trips and explore, and justeven exploring within Utah Hutah is such a big state. When I first movedhere, I was shocked about that. I could drive for five hours and still be inthe same state that was shocking to me coming from the East Coast, where Icould drive five hours and go through several states, you know, and so that was shocking and Utah. Justhas all these different great things to offer all these national parks all allthis cool stuff. That, if I didn't take the opportunity- and I could have let it pass me by and notgone to these national parks and not gone to all these cool places, whileI'm here like that, would have been a real shame. If I didn't do that, so I'mreally glad that I've got to do that and I went skiing. As I said, you knowlike skiing and Utah is such an amazing thing, and you know I wasn't great atit, but I still can say I've experienced it, which is awesome andYeah Sundance happens here. I was GOINGTO, go this year and didn't get to,but that's okay, there's just that's something that I let pass me by and youknow you just got it. You just got to jump on those opportunities becausethey might pass you by who knows. O pandemic came, and I didn't know it wascoming so I should have made it a pride priority in the earlier years, butthat's okay. I learned from that, and I hope that you guys learn from mymistakes and from my successes. That's why I'm sharing my story with you soyeah. Basically, just really soak up this new culture that you'reexperiencing, take it in and don't take it for granted. You know just take takeadvantage of where you are and soak up everything there is to know like I'mtrying to soak up everything there is to know about Salt Lake City and, likeI said you can stay within the same city that your school is in and justlearn everything about that city. It's so different from the city I'm from,and I've learned so much even just from the people, most mostly from the peoplelike my roommate freshman year was Mormon. I learned so much from her andfrom that experience, but was interesting, and I just learned so muchfrom that experience. I had Thanksgiving with her family, like Isaid Yes to things. This goes back to like Hon. We talked about being bold,like saying yes to things, I said Yes to having Thanksgiving at her housewith her Mormon family, which could sound a little daunting honestly, andit was a little bit daunting, but I'm so glad I did 't and I'm so glad Iexperienced that and that I've said Yes to things and I think not having a car. The previous yearshas made it a little bit hard for me to explore as much as I wanted to. I kindof had to you know, push and convince my friends with cars to go onadventures with me, which I'm sure they're happy that they said yes tothings and that I pushed them as well, because sometimes you need a friend topush you in the right direction and have you see what you're messing out on,but now that I have a car. I again have this independence and I can go exploreand travel for myself, but not that I really want to you know I am such apeople person, so I think, exploring with friends has been important friends.I guess I should talk about that yeah. I guess when you move across thecountry you're going to have to make...

...some new friends, so I honestly didn't have too hard of aproblem making friends I don't know I mean it's an adjustment, and part ofthat is because my friends from home were such a solid group and we havebeen- and I love them and we're all still super close to this day senioryear of college. We keep in touch, I was just talking to one of them lastnight and so that that was hard and we've all talked about my friends fromhigh school. How it's hard going from such a great, solid group too, tryingto find a group like that here to try to compare to that, and you might not-and I can't say I really did you know I don't have a group of ten girls thatwere like a group, and you know I'm like really close with all of themindividually. I don't. I don't really think I have that and that's okay. Idon't need that. I have that at home. I have so many other friends here from abunch of different groups, which is great, and I have that at home too. Youknow I had my theter friends and then I had my friends who were just in mygrade and whatever, but it's different here, and I guess my first year most ofmy friends were from the musical theater department, as I expected theywould be because that's who I was mostly interacting with as well as myroommate and her friends and my other roommate was in the musical theaterprogram. So obviously we were friends and sophomore year I decided to join aSorority, because I wanted to make friends outside of the musical theaterprogram and I'm so glad I did that my roommate now, I'm only I met throughThi Sorority and I wanted have met her otherwise and it's been really nice tonot live with other musical theater people. I sophomare year I lived in ahouse with two other musical theater majors and I don't regret that decision.You know it was a good time and I definitely learned from it and stillHovean care about both of those people. I just it can be a lot to live withother theater meajors. I learned that I need a break sometimes from theater andthe theater people seen and that's, okay and I that's healthy. I know thatthat's healthy, I', O, I was going to say I think that's healthy, but I knowthat's healthy. Everyone needs a break from things, and so that was my breakand it was. It was really nice to join the sorority and meet some friendsoutside of my major and so yeah. Those are the two main ways I made friendswere from my cohort and my Sorority, and then I also made friends throughother clubs. I joined like hello, the Jewish club on campus, that is aother.That's a big part of my culture shock as well was that there were not reallymany Jews here where the town I'm from pretty much. Everyone was Jewish. Sothat was thatwas shocking as well, and it was shocking to have people here.You know be surprised that I'm Jewish and it's been scary. Sometimes too,when I tell someone I'm Jewish, I am sometimes scared of how they'll react,whereas at home I you know, never felt that way. So that's something to takeinto account also that that is a little scary and it's different. It'sdifferent is the main thing which you know. Obviously it's different, butLell was nice. My soority, my major and I feel I feel like those were the mainways and then you just kind of meet people through other people and also, Iguess, through my job through work. I've worked at thes same restaurantsince my freshman year and I have friends there. You know I mycoworkers, you know E, we all work together and we go through it together.So we have that to relate on. I say that because a lot of them arequite older than me, which is kind of funny and Youtal, you have to be twentyone to be a server and I started there. Obviously my freshman year, I wasnineteen, so I was just a food runner and you know all my corworkers weresignificantly older than me or not all of them. Not all of them aresignificantly older than me, but I became friends with these. You knowadults who were working at this job and that's fun, and then, when I turnedtwenty one, we would like go to bars together, sometimes which was fun afterwork. That was before covid for the brief months, yeah that was fun andthen, as I turned twenty one again, I there were some New People at work likemy friend Haley, who were closer to my age or my age, and I became closefriends with her and other people like that as well. So that was that was fun.Yeah I feel like getting a job is a good idea. If you're from out of stateor just in general, I think think having a job is also what led to mygrowing up fast or not fast, but just faster than I could have becoming anadult in learning how to be responsible. I think that having a job has helped me become an adult so yeah, I just thinkyou've learned so much from it and so much responsibility and you learn thevalue of money which is really important. I just I learned so muchfrom that and I have learned so much from that and I'm still working thereand I just worked yesterday- and you know some shifts- are better thanothers, but T it's a job and it's you...

...know it's good so anyway, ending offtrack, but yeah, making friends, it's okay and then you'll have your friendswho, like kind of become like your family here you know my sophomore yearwe hosted Thanksgiving at our house, which was Super Nice because a lot ofus were from out of state, and so we just had thanksgiving altogether, whichwas super cute and then last year I went to my friend's house and also mysorority did a little thing because I was living in the sorority house thislast year. I got to fly back because of COVID, but I've always had little familieshere, like I just I have people like brothers and sisters to me here so, andyou know MOMS and MOMS and DADS. I guess I don't know. I have my sororitybig, who, I guess you would say, is like a mom, obviously not like the same as my momor anything like that. But you know what I'm saying you know what I'msaying. I've got my sisters quite literally my soority sisters, but alsomy friends who feel like sisters, and I think that's some. That's somethingthat I struggle with. That is hard for me is that my friends from home feellike sisters, because we've been friends for ten plus years. You knowthat's just how it is, and I struggle with the fact that I don't have anyfriends here that I've been friends with for ten years or even more thanfour years and that's okay. I have to realize, and you have to realize thatthat's okay, just because you haven't been friends for as long doesn't meanthose friendships aren't as important and are as valuable to you. So that's that's another lesson I wouldsay they might not feel as much like family just because you know familyhave had forever, but they might- and I can definitely say I have some friendshere who feel like family to me. So that's nice, honestly, yeah, that's notnice! That's like the best feeling really to me at least that's the bestfeeling feeling so comfortable with people and for me to feel socomfortable here in Utah and knowing that I'm so far away from my family.It's great! It's amazing like getting choked up here and then Postgrad. Itwill be super nice to live back, neour home again yeah. I don't even it's justgoing to be so nice, like I plan to move to New York City at some point atleast and that'll, be like thirty minutes away from home an hour. MAYBEYEAH! I'm just really excited for that to be near my family again and near myfriends from home. You know after I just talked about how great my friendshere are. They are, but I also miss my friends from home and it'll be kind oflike a meshing of both of my friend groups from college and home, as wellas my friend from homes, college friend and our friend groups. You know it'sjust going to we're all going to Mesh together and it'll, be really exciting and it'll bea new chapter in my life, just merging my New Jersey experience withmy Utah Experience and when I say UTA experience, I mean my whole experienceout here out lest, like I've, been saying how I've grown so much from thatand everything yeah Gosh. This is so funny talking bymyself. I have so much to say still, but I guess okay, I don't want to leaveyou guys like in the dark about the whole like long distance thing or Icould just do I or we could do a whole other episode about that, but basicallyyeah. The long story short is. I broke up with my boyfriend when I left forschool and then I got back together with him. We wereopen, then we were closed and then he was he was a year younger. So then hewent to college and I said, let's be open for your first semester like wewere for mine, it's only fair, he said no, I insisted and he kept saying no andthen he cheated on me and then we broke up so kind of wack wild story. I can. Ican. I can delve deep into this story some other time, but just thought I'dtouch on that since I teased it a little bit long distance is hard, but it can beworth it and it can be rewarding. However, I would really think about it really thinkdeeply about it and think if you could see yourself ending upwith with this person like long term, because otherwise it's just not worthit in my opinion and even if you can seethat it might not be worth it. You know, my Freshman Year of college was not the same as it would have been. IfI did not have a boyfriend long distance, you know I definitely wouldhave had a different experience and would have felt less guilty going tofrat parties and stuff which not saying you have to go to Frat parties, but Ifeel like that, can be a defining part of college and ultimately shaping whoyou are so I don't know, I would say, think deeplyabout it and consider it yeah. That's that's what I'm going to say about thatit's hard but can be worth it, but yeah. I try to think everything happens for areason, so I'm sure that that whole...

...situation worked out how it did for areason. I learned a lot from it. I know that I did, but I'm happy that anddidyou know mysopomore year, so I still got to experience being single incollege and dating other boys in college dating Utah Boys dating xMormons. You know all these crazy things that I've got to experience andI wouldn't have if, if I wasn't single, so I think that's been part of learning about myself and becoming moreadults, and all of that I think that dating different people has beeninformative and it's also shown me more who I want to end up with you know. Ithought that the guy from high school was the type of person I wanted to endup with. But now I see you know, maybe that's not the case, and I wouldn'thave learned that. Otherwise, so that is tnot on that and I think I'vetouched on pretty much everything I wanted to rat almost an hour here, so I should probably stop talking but yeah. This was. This was great. Let usknow what you think of these solo episodes or this solo episode, and ifyou want to hear more solo episodes next week will be our thirtieth episode.So I don't know that will do as Solo for that. I'm thinking we'll probablydo a q ana. So if that is true, look out for a post on our story asking itfor questions, I guess we might well. We might not have recorded it yet bythe time this comes out. So yeah look out for that, be sure to follow us onInstagram and Tick Tock at bold period and period balance, that's Buildan,balance with periods in between and be sure to join. Our facebook group calledbolden balance. We chat about episodes in there and you can post whatever youfeel you just have to answer a couple questions but it'll be super easy. It'sjust like. What's our names and all of that, and what do you want to hear fromthe podcast and we won't let you in that group it's a good time over there,we'll also post the link in the show notes for this episode. You can alsoemail us at bold n, balanced at gmailcom. That's bold and then theletter n balanced agmailcom anyway. I hope you guys, like this episode andwe're able to relate to it in some way and if not know someone who couldrelate to it share it with them. Be Sure to give five stars to us on Applepodcast and subscribe and follow us on spotify and all the good things yeah.This was really nice to open up to you guys. This is like a really personaltopic for me and something that's very prevalent in my life. So I hope that itwas as meaningful to you as it was to me and yeah hope. You guys have a greatTuesday Illi.

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